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Husband & Wife Letters
Posted by
PEGASUS
(VIP) 26 Nov 2005 1:14pm
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the
last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even
wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes,
and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me
you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're
cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's
true that you and I have been married for seven years, although
a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports
so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that
doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last
week, the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a man!
My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say something nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I
went to sleep when you had on that new negligee because the
price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee
was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you
have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter
that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Rich and Free!
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